Losin' My Religion

Sitting Idle In My Baggage

Posted on March 8, 2011 Updated on March 9, 2014

Suitcases opened all around with clothes strewn about as if the bags had been carelessly dropped and everything had tumbled out.  Clean and soiled mixed together.  Wrinkled blouses and useless jackets.  Ripped jeans and hemless skirts.  Dirty unmentionables and odiferous socks.  Mismatched Shoes.   And in the midst of the mess I sat.

Unmoving.  Unused.  Seemingly abandoned.  Void in heart.

…Idle

I seemed to fit right in with the disarray that surrounded me.

Numb.  Disheveled.  Confused.

…Damaged goods.

Legs splayed.  Arms limp.  Head hanging down in exhaustion and “give up”. My mind was the only thing that was moving.  Rather, racing. Ever replaying mistakes and failures, words of ridiculers and critics, and images of the past.

After resting idle so long amidst the untidiness that had become my life, struggling to my feet began to seem impossible.  Picking up the clutter and discarding the stained garments such an overwhelming task when thoughts echoed reruns of blame and shame day and night, casting a fog over my understanding.

And so I sat.  And sat some more.

Until that still small voice that had persistently spoken from the beginning finally was heard.  The whisper of goodness penetrated through the clamor of condemnation.  And as my mind honed in on the words of grace, the winds of the spirit began to blow and the cloudiness began to inch away.  Clarity returned… accompanied by power… and a different kind of replay resounding between my ears.

The reminder of God’s unmerited favor, His immeasurable grace, and His irrevocable call seized my attention and gave strength to my soul and soundness to my bones.  And so I stood.  Determined to cease the lazy-mindedness that allowed past mistakes to stun me to stagnancy.  To render me immobile.

I stood and looked long and hard at the baggage around me.  At the chaos I’d created, and hadn’t known how to restore to order.

I took a deep refreshing breath from His Spirit.  And then I began to do away with the jumbled mess…

One soiled item at a time.